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Swine Flu: Another Reason to Keep Kosher?

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For the first time, Poor Man's Caviar would like to present it's first guest Blogger, Brad Shapiro. Please let us know if you would ever like to write for our blog.  Just make sure its funny and interesting.  

Brad sheds some perspective on the Bird Flu "pandemic".  Poor Man's Caviar thinks that the U.S. Government is in bed with the national media and that they are engaged in fear mongering.  STOP IT.  No more MONGERING!

Someone please help me out. This “flu” has gotten so much attention I had to address it.  Just yesterday, I’m at the Starbucks on campus (I know) and a girl walks by with a tricked-out surgical mask on.  GIVE ME A BREAK, LADY!!!!  There have been ZERO reported deaths from swine flu in the US,* and you think…just possibly…maybe…the first one might be you???   

What’s your motto?  Better safe than stupid?   

I mean, it could be worse.  Your mask could’ve looked like this:


Please note the lady’s facial expression on the right – I’m pretty sure she’s really short on air, and not the good kind – see autoerotic asphyxiation on Wikipedia to see what I’m talking about - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autoerotic_asphyxiation

All I’m really trying to say is that if you were a guy, you would’ve deserved, and likely received, a prompt beatdown.   

Of course, if you looked like this, at least you might’ve gotten a laugh or two…before you also cashed in on an inevitable ass-whooping:

 

With all due respect, I understand people have lost their lives.  Just look at how Mexico has had to deal with it:


I’ve written thus far without actually discussing the virus itself.  My question is: how did the virus spread from pig to human?  Did Manuelito, horned up after a day’s work in the sun, decide to plow his sausage into some future sausage (thence to his wife, and so on)?     

Anyway, it’s a good thing I don’t eat pork.  Neither did this guy:


Sincerely,

BA$ 
 

*Note: When I witnessed this, there had been zero cases, but it’s now my understanding that an infant died in the US after having recently visited Mexico and likely played in the local pigsty.   

Honorable Mention: Avian Flu (which still got called Avian Bird Flu, in case you killed off enough brain cells in an engaging game of autoerotic asphyxiation and could no longer figure out what “avian” meant), and SARS

1 comments:

Jeff said...

Kermit the Frog just died of Swine Flu. His last words: "That fucking pig told me she was clean".

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